Separation is very common problem these days. Increase in rate of divorce is undoubtedly alarming! (Not only in India, but across the globe)
We all see people getting separated even after long happy marriage. But what really causes it?
Everybody talks about separation and breakup, but nobody really talks about the story behind it. There can’t be any country with 0% divorce rate. Although, there are countries like Maldives &Guatemala with lowest rate of divorce, yet I am curious as to know what make people separate. We never think of breakup or divorce when we get engaged. Unfortunately, some does experience it. Most of us must have seen divorce happening in our neighborhood or relatives. But we could only see the complex and confusing situation from outside; where blame-game is common. When things don’t go well, it turns out to result in divorce. Though, it affects both the partners, but it does lot more damage to children. This matter might be easy to talk about but extremely painful to experience.
It’s seen that some people are less tied to marriage. Let us see some of the major reasons due to which separation is observed:
1) Modernization:
The disintegration of the family has been hastened by free sex relations made possible by changing notions about morals and by modern birth control techniques. The religious sanctions are becoming diminished making dissolution of marriage earlier. In the past, marriage ceremony used to be family function, where two families were bonded. With modernization, the concept of couples going in for marriages with their own choice is becoming increasingly common. In these types of marriages families’ involvement is least or moderate. This type of marriage has its own advantages and disadvantages with regard to the stability of marriage.
2) Growing acceptance of Change:
Even in the developing countries like India, priorities have shifted. Where the priority was husband, it has now shifted to carrier, as far as the woman is concerned. Previously, the gender roles were defined. The unavoidable liberation by the woman, her economic independence and western influence has given marriage a new shape, which at times nullifies the meaning of words like co-ordination and co-operation in marriage. Place for ‘mutual understanding’ has been shifted to ‘individual’s choice’ and becomes one of the major reasons for separation.
3) High personal aspirations:
In modern societies, people are more ambitious than people of traditional societies. Thus, family life has taken a back seat. There has been a tremendous growth in individualism at the cost of family. These days, people prefer to get well settled; own a car; own a big house, before giving consideration to marriage.
4) Growth of the Nuclear family:
Nuclear families came in to picture as a result of urbanization and industrialization. In Indian perspective, joint family has always been a concept. Children were looked after by large family and were given better attention. Individualism was not preferred and taking divorce was not a hurried and individualized decision. Individualization in decisions results in immature decisions at times, which ultimately results in destruction and separation in many cases.
5) Declining values:
A decline has been observed in the value system in people. Moral, Ethical and personal values were always essentials of an individual, especially in India. Believes being shifted to westernization and modernization brings an ease to settle divorce, even without the involvement of other family members.
6) Physical separation:
Leaving the village life, people are migrating to bigger cities in search of more job opportunities. It is well known that livelihood is not easy in big cities and hence people can’t afford to take their family along with them, at the initial stage especially. This cause a physical disconnect in husband & wife. Sometimes physical separation is for decades, which ultimately results in failure in marriage. Due to this, sexual needs are not fulfilled in many cases, because of which men and women both tend to cheat each other which at last lead complexity in marriage life and may lead to separation too.
7) Personality traits/Addictive personalities:
Refers to individuals’ character and qualities belonging to the person. Our behavior and traits are responsible for our basic nature and behavior and the way we are as an individual. For instance, someone being short-tempered will end up arguing or fighting with his/her partner very often; and commonly seen to be causing major harm to the marriages. An addictive personality is more likely to experience divorce, especially when it is associated with Alcohol or drugs. Any one in addiction problem makes the whole family dysfunctional and makes living unmanageable. And any sort of disturbance in marriage life may result in separation. Addictive personalities are more likely to risk their marriages.
8) Adultery:
Consensual sexual relationship with person other than his/her partner is said to be adultery. It is the most common reason cited for divorce. There may be many reasons to people having extra marital affair; they may have lost interest in their respective partners; there might be a condition of sex addiction; personality trait of being ladies' man, Casanova can be a big reason to end marriage. Being committed to one another is what a marriage is all about. If the ground of marriage is broken by means of adultery, marriage does not last for long.
*END*
Do comment your thoughts!
Comments
Post a Comment